MARTIN L

Category: Listening to Life

  • Two months later: Embracing the silly life

    Around two months ago, I decided to embrace the silly life by creating silly goals for myself. Today, I am here to provide a update to this article, and reflect on whether or not these goals had an impact on how I live my life.

    For May, I chose goals that were a bit easier to accomplish to ease me in (for example, talking to a stranger, which I do all the time). It was a great way to ease me into this experience as it did remind me to put more of my focus onto searching for these types of experiences. Unfortunately for me, it was also a bit too easy to accomplish these goals, as I finished all of my goals by early May, and the mindset flew out of the window after I no longer needed to look at a list of goals.

    In June, emboldened by May’s progress, I created six goals in a variety of topic areas. These included things like: “Have a picnic with friends” and “Stay off social media for twelve hours”. I only accomplished two out of the six goals this month, mainly due to a very busy schedule that took these goals out of my mind. Overall, I will say that June was not very successful for this reason alone, as I didn’t encompass the silly mindset.

    Lessons

    1. Create goals that don’t depend on other people to accomplish: your goals cannot be contingent on the existence of other people helping you accomplish your goals. The goal of these goals are to embrace creativity
    2. Make it easy, make it hard: your goals should challenge you, but also be approachable in steps. Don’t force yourself to climb up a floor without building the staircase first.
    3. Keep the silly top of mind: It can be hard to embrace the silly energy without prioritizing it. Since it’s a mindset, keeping it in focus by incorporating it into your life is a must.

    Overall, I am still continuing this experiment throughout the summer, and as always, I am inviting y’all to join into the adventure! My goal for July and August is to incorporate this reflection into my life, and get a bit sillier for once!

  • Bike Share – What I’ve Learned to Love

    If you didn’t know, I’m a proud Toronto Bike Share member! Thanks to a plethora of great discounts, I’ve been able to maintain a membership for about two years. Biking is such a great way to get around, and throughout the two years I’ve learned a lot about biking in Toronto.

    • Biking is the fastest way to get around the inner city

    Bike Share is the easiest way to get around the city! Biking is just as flexible as a car, but never stuck in traffic. There’s a decent amount of bike lanes downtown, and if you have a good mental map you’ll find it really easy to get around. I especially love it getting to and from subway stations because the streetcars are so slow by comparison!

    Here’s an example: from Rosedale Station to Little Italy, Bike Share is the fastest way!

    • Bike Share gives you options

    I love that Bike Share now exists as an option. It’s no longer just between taking transit and walking, there’s a new sweaty way to get to my destination. If my TTC transfer is expired, I can just use my “free” bike share pass! It’s especially useful to combine transit and bike share to get around, which is way faster than walking! It truly is a great last mile solution.

    • Bike Infrastructure was better than I thought

    Toronto has a surprisingly decent amount of bike infrastructure. Within the inner city, there’s plenty of bike lanes that create a grid (although it doesn’t connect the entire inner core yet). Many of these bike lanes have been upgraded over the past few years, adding protected infrastructure, signage, dedicated traffic lights, etc. I especially like the new College Street and University Avenue bike lanes, which are very wide and segregated from the rest of traffic. Well done!

    If I have to summarize my experience using Bike Share in Toronto, this quote from Ray Delahanty, the creator behind the YouTube Channel CityNerd: “I’ve never seen so much biking in a place that was so obviously hostile towards it.”.

  • I kinda love Oakville!

    • No traffic during the weekends. I can always excuse traffic on weekdays, but ON A WEEKEND? Oakville could never.
    • The best trail system in the GTA. Such a great combination of lakefront trails, suburban greenway trails, and deep river valleys. It’s so underrated that these gems exist in the GTA, and Oakville is the only suburb that preserved most of them. 200+ kilometers of trails. Probably the main reason I would live here.
    • Downtowns with character (Oakville, Bronte)
    • Frequent GO Train service to Downtown Toronto
    • Close to Hamilton and Buffalo
    • Lake Ontario is actually very underrated. It’s a great place to enjoy the water and hang out.
    • Restaurants are decent (for most cuisines)… and for any other cuisine it’s not even far from the rest of the GTA.
    • It’s actually QUIET for a suburb. Children actually play on the street, and it’s full of suburban amenities you would like for a young family.
    • Oakville has loads of cool people 🙂
    • This isn’t actually a pro but there’s no proper mall in Halton Region? Mapleview is the closest to one but it’s also terrible. Square One is close enough so it’s not the end of the world.

  • Facing my struggles with Pride Month

    I’ve always had a very contentious relationship with Pride Month. While I am aware of the history, and the sweat, blood, and tears people have put in to advocate for gay rights, it never really felt like my battle. I’m a openly bisexual person to many of my peers, but it never really felt like a battle I ever had to face.

    One time my dad asked me what country this flag represented

    Unlike a lot of “coming out” stories you hear about, I’ve never really felt different sexually. If I had to label it, I would say my life so far as been one big, rolling ball of anxiety of other issues and struggles that came before my sexuality. I never really gave it a thought, and I honestly don’t even think I can tell you when I even came out. Sure, I’ve had my struggles with my sexuality at times (parental expectations and the need to feel “normal”), but compared to other problems, it seemed like a blip in the road.

    I can be honest and say that I’ve never really seen a need to “come out”, but ultimately that’s a privileged take that I can hold with my own life. Not every “coming out” story blossoms as beautifully as mine has so far, and that’s a challenge we will continue to face in the world. Although my sexuality may be mine, my struggles are not. As I continue to experience life on this earth, experiencing the setbacks I put myself in, I’m realizing the limits of my own sexuality.

    In a couple of words, I don’t even feel like I am out. I’ve minimized my sexuality to such a small block of myself that it no longer forms a part of my already repressed personality. Every time I have to “come out” (because as I’ve learned, you never just come out once), I get this sense of overwhelming hesitation to come out. Because, maybe for myself, I haven’t even really had the time to accept this over-encompassing part of my life.

    Not even getting into “bisexual erasure”, but I think it’s time to really take the time to learn about my sexuality. I’ve never even kissed a dude yet, so maybe there? (JK). This year, I’m gonna take the time to live for myself, and Pride Month is a good reminder that this is a privilege I get in life. Thank you, and I hope y’all can support me on my journey.

  • Being a tourist in your own city

    THUNDER RUN!

    I have a really complicated, on and off relationship with my adopted hometown, Toronto. In many ways, I think it’s a really great city – Toronto Summer is the epitome of life. I totally agree with the theory that Torontonians try to shove a year’s worth of cultural relevance in the three months that compose of summer. However, Toronto sucks for so many reasons – the cost of living crisis, kinda long winters, and for some reason related to climate change, a lack of sunlight. However, while I still live here, I’m determined to make the best of my time here. Here’s a list of things I will be doing this summer to make the most of a great Toronto summer:

    • Visit a Toronto Museum that I’ve never been to
    • Any sporting event I’ve never been to
      • Raptors
      • Argonauts
      • Toronto FC
      • Maple Leafs
    • Comedy Show at The Second City
    • A theater production at Mirvish
    • A good street festival (Do West Fest, Salsa on St. Clair, Caribana)
    • Kayaking
    • Ontario Day Trip to a small town or hiking destination
    • Canadian Opera Company performance
    • A trip to Montreal

    Let me know if I should add anything to my list, or if you’d like to join me! All feet and hands welcome.